The Business of Relationships

An homage to life's little complexities...

It has been almost two years since I (hand over mouth in the style of Charlie Runkle while saying this) "blawwggged", but no time like the now to have a rebirth of inspiration. I feel I can say I have had the blessing of being able to experience the widths and breadths of what life has to offer. The highest of the highs and lowest of the lows. The best of times were had. Sadly, the truth in the statement that nothing lasts forever can be a hard pill to swallow. I guess that is when one is given the opportunity to make a decision: Keep on keepin' on... or not.

Gratefully, like Joe Dirt (pronounced deer-tay), I am and always have been the former rather than the latter. I have also always been a fan of quotes and songs that offer inspirational messages. Anything that seems to have been a collection of someone's experience of whatever it may have been in life and then pithily synopses-ed, if you will, for others to take and put in the back pocket for whenever they may go through a similar experience. Rainy day? How 'bout Eddie Rabbit's "I Love a Rainy Night"! Tough decision to make? How 'bout the always popular "Two paths diverged in a wood..."! Having trouble with your outlook on things? How 'bout my personal creation of "Being overly optimistic blinds one to the reality of things. Being overly pessimistic blinds one to the hopefulness of things. Therefore I say strive for pessimistic optimism...a.k.a. cautious hopefulness." Black fly in your chardonnay? As she told us, "Isn't it ironic?"

"A few more!", you say? I thought you'd never ask! For the sake of keeping your attention, I'll insert them at the end so you can read them at your leisure. There's a million of them out there and they cover any and every subject. If used correctly, I believe they are little gems that are scattered out there for us to Hansel-and-Gretel-esquely pick up on our journey through this thing called life.

I say all this to preface the following thought. I am seriously considering bringing to life a concept for a book that came to me in days past. Premise: That if people took the morally bankrupt ways of their personal lives and attempted to use them in the professional world, the unemployment line would be significantly longer. On the flip-side, maybe if people took the skills necessary to succeed in the business world and implemented them in their personal lives, maybe just maybe, the world would be a little better place. Just a thought...tentatively titled "The Business of Relationships".



Quotes for those who enjoy quotes:


"Love means exposing yourself to the pain of being deeply hurt....and it will be by someone you love."
"This too, soon shall pass."
"You are undertaking the first experience, not of the place, but of yourself in that place. It is an experience of essential loneliness, for nobody can discover the world for anybody else. It is only after we have discovered the world for ourselves that it becomes a common ground and bond, and we cease to be alone."
"Don't allow yourself to be a result of the past, rather, be a cause of the future."
..."Two paths diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled and that has made all the difference."
"All the time ya spend tryin' to get back what's been took from ya, more is goin' out the door."
"You never know how many miles you'll have to run while chasing your dreams."
"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you!" -Rocky Balboa
"God grant me the the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Are You A "Non-Contributing Zero?!"

We live in such a technologically advanced world where we take entirely too much for granted that maybe it's time we take a moment to realize just how good we've got it. I'm not all that old, yet I remember being a college freshman without a cell phone, that has since become a "necessity". It is crazy to think about how just 10 years ago cell phones were a luxury item and the hard drive of desktop computers back then would be put to shame by the storage capacity of today's SD cards for cameras and phones that are the size of a fingernail!

I saw this bit on Conan when it aired and thought it was hilarious. Comedian Louis CK goes on a rant about how amazing everything is today and yet nobody's happy. He thinks maybe it's time we appreciate the simpler times that were, in all actuality, not that long ago. I've seen it circulate some around the web, so I thought I'd do my part to bring it to those who haven't seen it. Enjoy!

My Diverse Playlist

Have you seen the movie High Fidelity with John Cusak and Jack Black? It is one of my top 5's. I love it. Actually, I think it may have been responsible for my realization that I am more of a top 5 person than someone who can name one favorite anything. The song "I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)" by Stevie Wonder has been in my head lately. Like most things with me, I cannot explain the reason for this, but it inspired me to take advantage of my blog and post my musical playlist.

There's a scene in the movie when Rob (Cusak) is, for therapeutic purposes, autobiographically reorganizing his record collection and says, "...know how I got from Deep Purple to The Soft Boys in twenty-five moves? ...it makes me more complicated than I am. ...if you want to find Landslide by Fleetwood Mac you have to know that I bought it for someone in the Fall of 1983 and didn't give it to them for personal reasons."

My musical interests are similarly diverse and inexplicably complicated in their reasoning for being a favorite. Like how I can go from Bone Thugs to The Outfield to Maurice Ravel to Stevie Wonder. Regardless, each has some significance to me, whether it's for personal reasons or inspirational or just fun to sing at the top of my lungs. Hope you like!

Catastrophes and Recessions and Spending...OH MY!

Anyone remember this video from the grade school days?  The days when, although we probably weren't paying too much attention, we were taught about the ways our government worked and we were far less aware of party differences between liberals and conservatives, and what words like 'bipartisanship' meant.  My how we've become so jaded.

Reminisce with me for a moment, if you will, about the days when a bill that was presented went through analysis by all members of the House and Senate to decide if EVERY last thing it represented was what the American people want.  Wait, did that ever exist, or was it more of an idealistic teaching?  For crying out loud, a bill to get life saving debfibrillators (a device that increases the chance of survival from cardiac arrest by more than 50% if used quickly and appropriately) in athletic clubs and health spas has gone through more ammendments than the measly $800,000,000,000 'stimulus' bill.  

Have you heard that not one Congressman has fully read the 1,100 some odd pages of the stimulus bill?  See the video below.  

Just to fill you in on some of the other so called 'stimulating' and 'ear mark free' inclusions:

• $6 billion to turn federal buildings into "green" buildings
• $100 million for reducing the hazard of lead-based paint
  
• $150 million for Smithsonian museum facilities
  
• $500 million for state and local fire stations
• $1.2 billion for "youth activities", including youth summer jobs
• $10 million to inspect canals in urban areas
• $500 million for flood reduction projects on the Mississippi River
• $25 million for tribal alcohol and substance abuse reduction
• $75 million for "smoking cessation activities"  (I thought the quadrillion dollar lawsuit against cigarette manufacturers was supposed to pay for this?)
• $30 million for wetlands conservation, including protection of the salt water harvest mouse (I'm not kidding)
• $1.4 billion for rural waste disposal programs
• $600 million to buy hybrid vehicles for federal employees
• $448 million for construction of the Dept. of Homeland Security headquarters
• $248 million for furniture at the new Homeland Security headquarters
• $88 million for the Coast Guard to design a new polar icebreaker ship (I thought global warming was taking care of all polar ice?)
• $1 billion for Amtrak, which hasn't earned a profit in four decades
• $2 billion earmark to restart FutureGen, a near-zero emissions coal power plant in Illinois that the Dept. of Energy defunded last year because the project was inefficient
• $20 billion over 5 years for an expanded food stamp program
• $53.4 billion for science facilities, high-speed internet, and miscellaneous energy and environmental programs (yes, that's 'billions' for internet)
• $400 million for research into global warming 

Look, I am not coming in here and saying I despise liberals and everything they stand for.  I don't.  In fact, I had quite the enjoyable debate just last week with two, very devoted, liberals.  I am simply seeking informed decision making based on the greater good of America.  If you've been paying attention to news from Drudge Report to the Huffington Post, from MSNBC to Fox News, from CNN to The View, everyone has SOMEthing to say about this so called "Recovery and Reinvestment Act".  The problem seems to be that NOBODY is informed!  Or at least if they are, why aren't they being upfront about WHAT they are doing and where OUR money is going?  What happened to Obama's promise to be 'transparent' and practice 'bipartisanship' (meaning to involve cooperation, agreement, and compromise between two major political parties)?

There is no debating that America's economy is experiencing tough times.  Depression-esque?  Hardly.  For instance, job losses are around 7.6% and, while devastating, pale in comparison to the 25% of the 1930's.  A much less used, yet more similar comparison, is the economic downturn of the late '70s & early 80's, during which the unemployment rate peaked at 10.8%.  It is obvious that something needs to be done...or is it?  Look at this bill!  We are being told that if it doesn't pass, the economy may reach a catastrophic and unrecoverable state.  Really?  Okay, then justify the spending, specifically!  Rather than cloud things and say it "MUST PASS OR ELSE," tell us why we need to provide 'stimulus' spending on smoking cessation? global warming? internet? an inefficient coal plant? protecting the salt water harvest mouse?

How many jobs will this create?  How many home owners will avoid foreclosure?  How many small business owners will be able to stay afloat?  The bill was originally proposed with many more billions set to go to many other 'earmarks', and so in an attempt to sound like Congress cares that there has been an increasing opposition to this bill, they cut 'billions' out.  So, at only $787 BILLION rather than the earlier $820 billion, we're supposed to concede.  How 'bout NO!  President Obama, how about instead of attempting to scare us into submitting to your will, you let us know what you are doing, like you promised you would.  I have yet to see very much 'transparency'.

The bill will be signed by the president on Tuesday.  While I may have posted a blog about wanting Obama to fail, I don't want him to fail...especially on something this big.  I want to know that I, as a small business owner, can trust consumer confidence will rise again.  I am an optimist, so until it doesn't, I will always maintain confidence that it will.  I just wish that more of the 'stimulus' bill went to the citizens.  At its pricetag, the bill could give about $10,000 to each tax-filing citizen.  I'm pretty sure that would stimulate my wallet!  Instead, we are set to receive $400 for singles and $800 for couples.  Hooray, we get to eat for a month or two! 

I'm not big on forwarded emails, but I got one the other day that I thought was entertaining and is befitting of this conversation:

"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format: 

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? 

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. 

Q. Where will the government get this money? 

A. From taxpayers. 

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? 

A. Only a smidgen. 

Q. What is the purpose of this payment? 

A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. 

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? 

A. Shut up. 

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: 

• If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China . 
  
• If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. 
  
• If you purchase a computer it will go to India. 
  
• If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic). 
• If you buy a car it will go to Japan. 
  
• If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan. 
  
• If you pay your credit cards off, it will go to bank management bonuses and they will hide if offshore. 
  
• Same with stock investment. 
  

Instead, you can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spending it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only American businesses still operating in the US.

Douche-tastic Court Case!

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What's in a Resolution?

Usually by now the New Year's celebrations are just a memory and not much evidence remains of it's happenings, unfortunately this tends to include those once hopeful and optimistically made New Year's Resolutions.

According to Stephen Shapiro, author of "Goal-Free Living: How to Have the Life You Want Now"

• "Only 8% of people are always successful in achieving their resolutions. 19% achieve their resolutions every other year. 49% have infrequent success. 24%(one in four people) NEVER succeed and have failed on every resolution every year. That means that 3 out of 4 people almost never succeed."

While the diversity of resolutions range from bettering work habits to smoking cessation to dieting goals, they all usually share a common vision: improving the quality of one's life.  The first step in any of these is being able to recognize WHAT it is you want to improve upon.  As someone with a strong passion for health and fitness, I would like to address related resolutions.

Someone close to me called a few weeks after New Year's and asked me to provide her with a list of workouts she could do to continue her exciting start to her resolution to 'lose weight'.  I simply replied "No."  Understandably, she was taken aback.  I didn't leave her hanging, though, I instead talked with her in the way I talk throughout the rest of this blog.  How could I say no to someone who is seemingly off to a good start?  Because I have seen this type of situation before!  I have seen so many times the people who start "dieting" and maybe even succeed at losing some weight and abstaining from the 'bad habits' which they have decided are the culprits that lead them to their state of dissatisfaction.  But, almost as many times, I have seen the same people give in and revert back to those old habits.  Why does this happen?  Because of a hidden culprit that rarely gets recognition: the psychological aspect.

Could I have given this person a list of workouts?  Of course.  In fact I have done so in the past.  What did it accomplish?  Another call some time later for another list of workouts.  As a result, my resolution has become to no longer just hand out workouts to people and let them go do with it what they may.  Rather I have given myself a new title: Lifestyle Modification Specialist.  

"Hey, wait, you can't just wake up one day and give yourself a title like that!"  Maybe not, but I just did.  Why?  Because I feel like those who approach me do indeed want to succeed in their goals of weight loss or improved fitness.  In observing the trend of failure, I have taken it upon myself to give advice that I feel will give them the greatest chance to succeed.  

"And, what, Captain Self-Titler, might that be?"  Here it is, in two parts:

Part 1: Investigate the connotative meaning you have of food and fitness.  Connotation is defined as the suggesting of a meaning by a word apart from the thing it explicity names or describes.  The reality is that most people have a negative one.  Remember things like: "Drop and give me 20!" or "That's it, run sprints until you can get it right!" or "As a part of your new 'diet', you will pretty much have to stop eating or drinking everything you like."  Can you see how this might present a problem?  Whether it's relating exercise with punishment or relating dieting with deprivation, neither situation ends with true fulfillment because it took doing something you hate or taking away something you love to achieve the goal.  It doesn't have to be this way.

Part 2: Learn the meaning of moderation and incorporate it into your life.  If you're like me, that may mean moderating extremes, but it still can work!  I'm going to admit something that you're not allowed to laugh at!  I have a distinct memory of playing a computer game called "The Sims" and thinking to myself, "Huh, so that's how time management works.  A little bit at a time day after day!"  Okay, once you've stopped laughing, allow me to explain.  In this game, you have a character who, upon creation, gets the Newspaper and looks for a job.  From there, the game is all about achieving success in work, life, and relationships.  You must develop the following skills: Cooking, Mechanical, Charisma, Cleaning, Body, Logic, and Creativity.  With only so much time in the day, you have to spend equal amounts of time on each of these in order to improve.  You have to sleep to have energy (6-8 hours gone); you have to work to make money and improve in your career (8 more hours gone from the day); you have to shower and use the bathroom throughout the day to keep up hygiene (1 hour); in the remaining 7ish hours you have left in the day, you have to play a musical instrument for 'Creativity' points; practice speaking in a mirror for 'Charisma' points; use the stove, microwave, or grill to eat of course, but also to gain 'Cooking' points; play chess or read books to gain 'Logic' points, socialize with friends over the phone or in person to keep morale high.  You get where I'm going with this, right?  At the time, I was teaching myself to play guitar.  I remember I would sit down for a few hours at a time and end up so frustrated that I couldn't change notes and maintain tempo or couldn't play and sing at the same time.  Weeks would pass before I picked it up again and repeated the same pattern: excitement, frustration, cessation.  I decided to try it 'The Sims way' and started playing 15 minutes or so each day regardless of how much or little I wanted to.  The result - I broke through my plateau and before I knew it I was changing notes with ease and strumming and singing fell in sync.

Whether you made a New Year's Resolution for 2009 or not, whether you've stuck to your resolution or not, try approaching it in this manner!  

Make up your mind that you will engage in some form of activity each and every day.  Take your dog for a walk, cut down some trees with a hand operated saw, play racquetball with a friend, learn how to lift weights (and erase the connotation that lifting means you'll turn into the incredible hulk), go for a hike, go on a canoe trip, ride a bike, etc.  Fitness doesn't have to mean forcing yourself to run aimlessly on a treadmill.  Make it fun!

Make up your mind that you will think more in terms of 'eating to live' rather than 'living to eat'!  Strive to eat as many of your meals with the mindset that you only get to eat so much in a day and try to make as much of that as possible have 'nutritional value'.  Love pie?  Fine, eat it!  Just remember that it possesses almost ZERO nutritional value and you are possibly missing the chance to provide your body with nutrients found in meats, vegetables, and fruits!  How 'bout instead of living to eat that piece of pie, you reward yourself with a small slice of it after you have eaten foods high in nutritional value!  

Everyone has their guilty pleasures and it is, in my opinion, unhealthy and unrealistic to say that you have to give up something you enjoy to allegedly find the satisfaction of reaching your goals.  You just have to, in the words of "South Park" - 'pwactice-a da self-discipwine!'

Womanizer? Excerciser? Sanitizer? Energizer?!

While driving home from a meeting this morning, the song "Womanizer" by Britney Spears came on the radio.  Although I am far from an avid listener of Britney's, I can't help but smile everytime I hear that song.  Why, you may ask?  Let me first say I'm a huge fan of "The Soup" on E! Entertainment channel hosted by Joel McHale, and have been through 4 hosts and the name change from "Talk Soup" to "The Soup".  In one episode, Mr. McHale did one of his finest performances in a rendition of the music video to "Womanizer".  Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Scare Tactic or Ignorance?

Drudge Report Headline:

'500 million Americans lose jobs every month'

This is Nancy Pelosi, the top Democrat in Congress, saying this.  I don't think she can declare ignorance.  Just in case you didn't get the memo, as of July 2008, the estimated population of the entire nation of America was 303 million and some change...

My opinion on this (me pretending to speak for Pelosi):  "Look at me, my name's Nancy Pelosi!  I'm a big liberal/socialist in charge of Congress!  Fear me!  I want everyone to be scared that the world is caving in on itself and the only way it can be saved is if me and my liberal/socialist friends with our extravagantly ridiculous plans like trillion dollar 'stimulous' packages succeed!  Submit your will to me or else!  Listen to me 'sheeple' of America!  Now get me my private jet so I can go eat caviar with Hugo Chavez!  OR ELSE!"  .....I kid....but, not really :) 

What sparked the rereading of "The Greatest Salesman in the World"

I have not, per se, had any direct mentoring relationships in life, but I have had many wonderful opportunities to learn from some outstanding people.  As mentioned in my post "The Scroll Marked 1", one such opportunity was with Mr. Potts.  In recalling his advice, I passed along the recommendation to read "The Greatest Salesman in the World" to a fine young man that works with me.  As recommended, he went out and bought the book and came back with inspiration in his eyes and told me about the impact of reading it.  I was excited to see and hear how it had affected him.  Job accomplished!  I felt I had taken something good and passed it along.

A few weeks later, the advice was reciprocated by him, and I followed it.  I dug up the book out of a box it had found as home since the initial reading three years previous.  What followed was the inspiration discussed in "The Scroll Marked 1" post.

A motto that was ingrained in memory from a past job's list of five values seems fitting... 

"Timing is everything"

My Fitness Investment

  In my yesteryears, I was something of an amateur athlete in the world of triathlon, adventure racing, and half marathons.  I have some of the fondest of memories of these days.  The comradery among athletes is unlike any I have ever experienced and is reason enough itself to be a part of the racing community.  Other memories include: my first 5K at the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in 2003 and the excitement that came when I unexpectedly saw my name in the local paper for finishing in the top 50; running my first half marathon and making every rookie mistake from buying new shoes and saving them for race day to wearing WAY too many articles of clothing and having to shed gear after the first mile; setting a PR (personal record) in the Hogeye Half Marathon '04 of 1:39:47...enough for a 3rd place age group finish and 17th place overall; hyperventilating and thinking I was going to die during the swim portion of my first triathlon at the Memphis in May tri of '05; the exhileration in crossing the finish line 22 and some odd hours after starting a "24 hour" adventure race in Missouri; the trails, the views, the battle wounds, the searches for a checkpoint marker via map and compass with a headlamp in the black of night, the challenging 'mystery events' from jumping bales of hay to ziplining across a river to rappelling off of a 10+ story building, the godawful time we had to canoe upstream and into the wind during an 8 mile canoe section of an urban adventure race (it didn't help that I despise the wind); getting up at 2:00am and spending race day morning with my grandpa in Chicago before the Chicago Triathlon '05...I could go on and on.

It was my love for all of these things that directly contributed to me essentially giving them up.  The world of training and racing, especially multi-sport, can be very tricky.  If you're not careful, you can end up burned out very easily.  That's what happened to me.  I got so into it, before I knew it, I was doing 2, sometimes 3 workouts a day, and did 4 adventure races, 3 triathlons and a half marathon in a six month period.  I needed a break.  

That was 2005, and since then I pretty much stopped training or even working out, thus getting out of shape and gaining weight.  That didn't stop me from wanting to do a half marathon in 2007.  I was bartending at the time, and since I had to work the night before the race, the race was just down the street from the bar, the race started at 8:00am, and I usually didn't get off work 'til 3:00am...it sounded like a perfect time to pull an all-nighter.  So, no sleep, some drinking, maybe a few cigarettes, McDonald's breakfast, and a dare to take 4 shots of tequila in the hour leading up to the race later, I ran a half marathon.  I spent the first four miles focusing on not throwing up and the remaining 9 struggling from dehydration.  But, 2 hours, 3 minutes and 48 seconds later I had one fine finish line race photo and, to say the least, something of a unique race story.

I once came across a quote about running taken from the last published column written by Dr. George Sheehan who wrote for Runner's World for more than 25 years... 

• "We know the effects of training are temporary.  I cannot put fitness in the bank.  If inactive, I will detrain in even less time than it took me to get in shape.  And since my entire persona is influenced by my running program, I must constantly be in training.  Otherwise, the sedentary life will inexorably reduce my mental and emotional well-being.  So, I run each day to preserve the self I attained the day before.  And couple with this is the desire to secure the self yet to be.  There can be no letup.  If I do not run, I will eventually lose all I have gained-and my future with it."

The sedentary life had done just that, reduced my mental and emotional well-being.  It was time to do something.  Armed with experience, I excitedly decided to start training again.  I ran the Dallas half marathon in December '08 and had an absolute blast.  My new goal is simple...keep it fun.  No more overtraining and taking it too seriously.  Does that mean that I'm not going to try to do it well?  Nope.  Just no longer would I relate training and racing well with overtraining and reduced enjoyment.  So far, so good!